almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
