OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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