I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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