who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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