people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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