Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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