I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
