I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize