you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
