Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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