I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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