this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well I just put wine in my tea
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
