Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
