hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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