1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
