Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
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