Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
