just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
