you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
