i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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