Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
