You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
