it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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