this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
