shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
