she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize