I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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