yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
