We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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