I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
