Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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