Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
