but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize