i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
