I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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