Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
