as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
