Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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