dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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