accomplished twins. life is a go
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
