just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
