I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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