I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
