I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
