It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
