im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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