It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
