i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
