the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
