Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
