a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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