he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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