what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
