We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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