before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
