omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
