I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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