no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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