he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
