being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
