I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize