i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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