I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Randomize
