idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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