garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
